The soldier in Mississippi said “Thanks. This is probably the only one of these I’ll get today.” The young woman with four children spilling out of a very old van at the highway rest stop in Alabama said “Than— Tyrese! Come back! -Sorry, thanks. I gotta go. God bless you!!” She smiled and ran after a speeding little boy. The elderly woman in the wheelchair at a McDonald’s in Texas said “What a pretty card. You’re a special girl. Thank you.” She was right. Last Monday I felt pretty special, and all because of a project that was created to help others feel that way.

Valentine’s Day was a blurred succession of smiles, thanks, chuckles and teary eyes as I drove across the Gulf Coast from Florida to Texas. My minds eye snapshots of every moment of connection-each a unique memory- are forever collected together in a mental scrapbook of an amazing day. For me, there is nothing better than when the lines between give and get begin to blur. I love it when the ideas and conversation about change turn into action. It’s a surprisingly easy thing to do. All it takes is a little courage and the willingness to accept and be ok with the idea that occasional rejection isn’t always about us, and that the results of that courage outweigh the what if’s. Still, did everyone I offered a You Are Loved card accept it? Nope. More on that later…

My friend Lindy hates Valentine’s Day. At least she used to. Last weekend we were talking on the phone, Lindy said “I hate the commercialization of love and I hate it more that I never seem to be in a relationship on February 14th. I want candy. I want cards. I want a romantic dinner across the table from someone that I actually know.” Suddenly, without really thinking about it as a larger concept, I said “why don’t you give some Valentines away. Maybe you’ll feel better if you stop waiting for expressions of love to come to you.” That was the beginning of a project that became a gift- for me and for everyone who participated. I never imagined that when I posted the idea on Facebook that people from 6 countries would take the challenge and that thousands of people would end up being part of a game-changing day.

When Cheryl Richardson posted the challenge on her website and Facebook page I really thought my head would explode with joy. She is an idol of mine, a teacher and mentor to hundreds of thousands of people. I think she’s one of the coolest people around and I’m proud to call her my friend. Suddenly my advice to Lindy went bigtime legit. Whoa. I ran out and bought the stuff to make a lot more cards. Later, my friend Bobanne reached out to Christie Brinkley about the project and she posted it on her Kindness Pledge page. O-mazing!

My original idea was to scout around a local school for LGBT kids or others who looked like they could use some love. After I posted the challenge on Saturday, I realized that my schedule dictated that I drive from Florida to Texas on Monday- with a trailer carrying a motorcycle. I tried to think of a way to do both, because life should never get in the way of good ideas, so my You Are Loved cards were handed out in rest stops, gas stations and fast-food restaurants. I realized that by spreading love to anyone I encountered, it might filter back to the kids I had originally wanted to reach. Maybe I gave a card to the father of a gay kid, and by doing so showed him that his son is part of a community of proud and kind people. While I care about nothing more than reaching the at-risk children of my community, I just figure that sharing kindness and love with strangers will ultimately benefit everyone. So I hooked up my trailer, loaded my bike and set out with a box full of cards that read “You Are Loved” on one side, and on the other “I’m a lesbian who wants you to remember that love is love. No matter what. Happy Valentine’s Day.”

In some way the idea that I was giving cards to people who would end up somewhere far away from the place they got the card made me happy. I imagined them arriving at their destination and telling someone “you’ll never guess what happened to me today in Louisiana.”

Other than handing out the cards, the best part of the trip was stopping to check my phone for Facebook updates from all of you. Your stories made the drive seem a lot shorter than 12 hours. I received dozens of emails and messages- here are a few from the FB Wall-

From Christine “Well, I managed to send valentine wishes to a bunch of my family and friends that I’ve never told I’m gay – so now they know they are loved AND that I am gay. It was a nice Valentines Day for sure. Lots of support and love came back to me and that pretty much made my day/year/life…

From Lesa “I handed out over 200 Valentine’s Day Cards (to the students and teachers at my school) that said, “YOU ARE LOVED!”

From Autum I wasn’t sure at first if I could do it (time wise) but I am SO GLAD that I decided to commit to it. I knew who to intuitively give the cards too and it turned out perfectly! My favorite place to go was the emergency veterinarian where people take very sick pets. I knew I needed to go and spread the love there having had a sick pet myself. Thanks!

From Jaclyn People who work out at the downtown YMCA in Oklahoma City now know they are loved.I figured if you are at the gym on Valentine’s Day, you will likely smile when you finish your workout and find a big paper heart on your car. Also, a few people at an Alzheimer’s clinic, a customer at Best Buy and a cute older man at Walmart all know they’re loved.

From Tina “No LGBT folks out in this desert town so I picked people randomly. I was sure to note that I am a Lesbian in the cards. The two best reponses were from an elderly man standing outside Walmart waiting for his wife. He smiled big and said he appreciated it. I went in & watched him read it. He smiled and put it in his back pocket. The other was a woman who was getting petitions signed at Walmart. She said “Oh how sweet, thank you.” I went into the store, when I came out she had read it and she thanked me again. She said “my ex-bum called me yesterday trying to give me one and I said NO WAY. So I really appreciate your Valentine”.

From Brandy “I passed out about 40 cards tonight to random strangers. It was the best V Day of my life. Loved it.”

From Katie “I handed out 200 lollipops and 7 dozen homemade cupcakes to Texas A&M Aggies, all with loving notes to brighten their day! I love loving”.

From Andrew “Well my experience with this were nothing except wonderful. I was able to hand out 58 Valentines with the benefit of educating many individuals on Transgenders and the LGBT community in the “Bible-buckle” of the “Bible belt”. This activity showed me that showing a little love can really turn cold hearts warm. Thank you so much.”

Cool. Huh??

A few people commented that they were hesitant to walk up to complete strangers and give them a card. I understand that fear. Interacting with strangers is tricky, especially for those who sometimes have a pre-conceived assumption that they will be rejected. For LGBT people, the idea that we should be the initiators who extend the hand of friendship and love is sadly absent from much of our dialogue. We want to be told we are ok and that we are loved first, and many of us fear that will never happen. But here’s what makes it better- do it anyway, because it’s the right thing to do. The same goes for anyone really, not just LGBT people. Too often we get caught up in the fear that being kind and friendly and open and giving is weak. But it isn’t. Our greatest strength is our ability to transform the perception of others. We need to be conscious of that strength all the time.

I personally gave cards to about 100 people, but the one I’ll remember most was the lady who said no. At a convenience store in Mississippi, I saw a thin woman wearing hospital scrubs slowly walking into the store. As she poured a cup of coffee, I held out a card and said “Happy Valentine’s Day. You Are Loved.” She backed up and said “NO! I don’t want that!” There is no way I will ever know what was going on in that woman’s mind, but that’s ok. What I do know is this- I tried. That’s enough. I didn’t let her rejection cause me to question what I was doing, because I was acting from a place of love. I’m sure she thought a lot about our interaction later. I imagine her telling someone that “some strange woman with crazy hair and a motorcycle on a trailer tried to give me a Valentine’s Day card today”. Maybe whoever she told asked her why she didn’t take it, and only then did she realize that it might not have been such a bad thing. At least that’s my hope. For her. Sometimes we don’t immediately see the results of good things. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try them anyway.

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Thanks again to all of you who are here on this page. Another of my hopes is that we’ll continue to build a community, because there is a lot of work to do and many connections left to create. Stay tuned for information on my new radio show that debuts on March 16th on Hay House Radio. You can listen on the internet and join me in creating a new dialogue. It’s our world. Let’s shape it the way we want it to be.

Love,

Karen

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” ~ John Wesley